You are about to witness real, disturbing footage of foreign traveler to Japan.
你即將目睹真實且令人不適的外國旅客到日本的片段。
No...
不...
Every four minutes, a foreigner in Japan is victimized by squat toilet-only bathroom. This does not have to be your life. Today, we will teach you how to not fear the squat toilet.
每四分鐘，就有一個外國人在日本成為只有蹲式馬桶廁所的受害者。你的人生不必像這樣。今天，我們會教你不再害怕蹲式馬桶的方法。
Tip one: Proper squatting technique
祕訣一：正確的蹲坐技巧
Most case of STSD, squat toilet stress disorder, are caused by improper squatting technique. First, you must learn how to squat the Japanese way. American squat like this. This squat is unstable, leaving you prone to falling.
多數 STSD 案例，亦即蹲式馬桶壓力症候群，是因不當蹲坐技巧引起。首先，你必須學會如何用日本人的方式蹲下去。美國人是像這樣蹲。這種蹲法並不穩，讓你很容易跌倒。
Stop it! I'm trying to go to the bathroom!
夠了喔!我試著要上廁所耶!
Japanese squat like this. To switch to flat floor squat, you must shift your center of gravity forward. This position, very stable.
日本人的蹲法是像這樣。要換成貼地的蹲法，你必須將重心往前。這種姿勢非常穩。
Ha! Ha! Stop it! Stop!
哈!哈!不要這樣!住手!
The most common squat toilet mistake is not squatting far enough. You may have heard that at least with the squat toilet, you can get thigh workout while you pee. Ha-ha...so funny joke.
最常見用蹲式馬桶的錯誤就是蹲得不夠下去。你可能聽過，至少用蹲式馬桶，你可以在尿尿的時候鍛鍊大腿。哈哈...真好笑的笑話。
You are doing it wrong. Squat is a resting position, all the way down. It is not a difficult position, unless you have big butt, because maybe it touches the floor. You should not use squat toilet.
你做錯了。蹲坐是種休息姿勢，整個向下。這姿勢並不難，除非你有一個大屁股，因為屁股也許會碰到地板。你不應該使用蹲式馬桶。
Tip two: Pull pants below knees
祕訣二：將褲子拉到膝蓋以下
When you use squat toilet, you must pull pants below knees. Otherwise, your pockets become upside down while you use toilet. Many squat toilets are auto-flushing—very dangerous situation. Many people every year tricked into giving sacrifice to evil squat toilet gods. Do not let them fool you.
使用蹲式馬桶時，你一定要將褲子拉到膝蓋下。不然的話，蹲馬桶時你的口袋就會倒過來。許多蹲式馬桶會自動沖水－－這是很危險的情況。每年都有許多人上當獻祭給邪惡的蹲式馬桶大神。不要讓馬桶耍了你。
Tip three: Do not touch anything
祕訣三：切勿碰觸任何東西
Because idiots like you is peeing incorrectly, many times there is pee all over the floor. And then some people is pressing flush with their pee shoes, too. Use toilet paper to flush. And hover above ground so that you do not touch the floor.
因為和你一樣的笨蛋用錯誤方式噓噓，很多時候地板上會都是尿。然後有些人還用他們踩到尿的鞋子按沖水。用衛生紙去按沖水。然後運用輕功，這樣你就不會碰到地板了。
With these three tips, squat toilets are easy and relaxing to use. Don't stop hovering.
有了這三個小技巧，蹲式馬桶用起來簡單又輕鬆。繼續浮在空中，不準停。
Many people find they enjoy squat toilets more once they know how to use them correctly, because they are so quick to use, and you do not have to touch anything. I said don't stop hovering!
一旦知道正確用法，很多人會發現自己對蹲式馬桶的好感增加，因為它們用起來快速，而且你不用碰到任何東西。我叫你繼續浮著!
- 「即將、正要」- Be About To
You are about to witness real, disturbing footage of foreign traveler to Japan.
你即將目睹真實且令人不適的外國旅客到日本的片段。 - 「容易、易於」- Prone To
This squat is unstable, leaving you prone to falling.
這種蹲法並不穩，讓你很容易跌倒。
