I pray this story is true that he himself told me. Michael grew up in a part of Chicago that we three stooges are not really familiar with. There's gangs in the neighborhood when he was growing up. And one of the gangs...illuminated themselves...their trademark was they had a little patch of red dyed into their afro, their hair.
我祈禱這是個真實故事，這是他本人告訴我的。Michael在芝加哥一個我們三個配角都不熟悉的地區長大。在他成長期間鄰近地區有幫派。其中一個幫派...他們很出名的是...他們的標誌是在爆炸頭上，他們的頭髮上有一塊紅色的挑染。
Big Mike said, he told me, "I kind of like these guys. These guys were cool." Big Mike decided to join this gang.
大Mike說、他告訴我：「我有點喜歡這些人，他們很酷。」大Mike決定加入這個幫派。
And I said, "How do you...how do you decide to join a gang?"
然後我說：「你怎麼...你要怎麼決定加入一個幫派？」
He said, "You walk up to them and say I'd like to be in your gang..."
"And then they beat the crap out of you for twenty minutes. And that's how you get in the gang."
他說：「你走向他們然後說我想加入你們的幫派...」「然後他們會痛扁你二十分鐘。這就是加入幫派的方法。」
So after being beaten and having the crap kicked out of him for twenty minutes, Michael was a member of this gang. And they took some red dye or whatever it is and gave him a little patch in his head, and he goes home.
所以經過二十分鐘的痛打、讓他滿地找牙後，Michael成了這幫派的一份子。然後他們拿些紅色染料或管他是什麼，在他頭上挑染了一小塊，接著他就回家了。
He said, "And my mama was in the kitchen, and she was cooking something at the stove."
他說：「然後那時我媽在廚房，她在爐邊煮東西。」
"And I sat down...I sat down in the chair."
「然後我坐下...我坐在椅子上。」
"I kind of like cocked my head, so that she could see my new little red patch."
「我就有點像是歪了歪我的頭，這樣她就能看到我的小塊紅色挑染。」
Now I just saw his mama, and she is about as tall as this podium. I'm guessing she is as tall as the stove itself was. So this is how it went:
"What's that in your head, Mike?"
我剛才見過他媽媽，她大概跟這個講桌一樣高。我在猜她跟當時的烤爐差不多高。接下來發生的是：
「你頭上是什麼？Mike？」
"Oh! That's...that's my trademark ma. I am in a gang."
「喔!那是...那是我的標誌，媽。我加入幫派了。」
"Oh, really, you're in a gang now." That's when I'm...I'm like, "Oh...ugh... Jeez...ugh..."
「喔，真的喔，你現在加入幫派了。」 那時我...我好像「喔...啊...天...啊...」
She came down with this frying pan across his head, and I'm guessing pork chop went flying all over the place. And he is on the other side of the kitchen now, crying, "Oh, oh. Mama..."
她拿起煎鍋砸向他的頭，我猜那時豬排滿天飛。然後他在廚房另一側，哭著說：「喔、喔，媽媽...」
And mother says, as she is putting the pork, sticking the fork in the pork chop, putting it back in the pan. She said, "You go get...you borrow some scissors from your sister. You cut that thing out of your hair."
然後媽媽說，她一邊把豬排，用叉子叉起豬排，放回鍋裡。她說：「你去拿...你跟你姊借剪刀。把那東西從你頭髮上剪掉。」
He goes back, "Oh! I love those."
他回話：「喔!但我喜歡那個。」
So Michael went, got the pairs... "Oh...ugh...ugh...ugh," went to the mirror, "Muh...oh...mommy," cut it off. So now his beautiful afro naturally has got this big dent in it, right? You know, where the big crater in it, where it used to be this red thing.
所以Michael去拿了把剪刀。「喔...啊...啊...啊...」，走向鏡子，「唔...噢...媽咪，」他剪掉了那撮頭髮。所以現在他漂亮的爆炸頭上很自然地有一塊缺口，對吧？ 你知道，就是有個大坑洞的地方，就是之前有紅色挑染的地方。
And he goes back, "Okay, mama, I cut it out, my hair." "So, now you go tell your friends, you ain't in that gang."
然後他回去說：「Okay，媽媽，我剪掉了，我的頭髮。」 「所以現在你去告訴你的朋友，你退出幫派了。」
I said, "So what did you do?" He said, "I went to the corner where the gang was, and I found them, and I said,"My mama says I can't be in your gang."
我說：「然後你怎麼做？」 他說：「我回到當時那個幫派所在的街角，我找到他們，然後說：『我媽說我不能加入你們的幫派。』」
I said, "What did they do?" He said, "They beat the crap out of me the second time."
我問：「那他們做何反應？」 他說：「他們又一次把我痛扁到滿地找牙。」
