So there's big news in the world of selfies, and for once it's not my fault. Researchers have confirmed that they found the first selfie ever taken. This is true. It's from 1839. Here it is. And it looks kind of rough, but he was the Zac Efron at his time, I think. He had to set his camera up, and then he had to hold position for, like, 15 minutes while it took the photo. That's why no one's ever smiling in those old-timey photos. After about 10 minutes, he starts losing that smile. They are very hungry and angry by the time it "click."
自拍界裡有條大新聞，然後這一次還真的不是我的錯(註一)。研究員已經證實他們發現第一張被拍下的自拍照。這是真的。照片來自 1839 年。它在這。這照片看起來有點粗糙，但他是他那時代的柴克‧艾弗隆吧，我想是這樣。他必須架好他的相機，然後當相機照相時，他得靜止不動有差不多十五分鐘吧。那就是為什麼在這些老相片裡從沒一個人是在笑的。在大概十分鐘後，他開始失去那個笑容。在相機「喀嚓」的時候，他們都超級餓又火大。
Cameras have changed so much since then. When I was growing up, cameras used actual film. Who remembers actual film? Wow, most of you. That's great. Other people are like, "What's film?"
You had to load it yourself, and you had to treat the film like...just...oh, so carefully, like it was a newborn baby or something. You had to make sure it wasn't exposed to the light, and then you had to put it in its own little special dark container. Well, it's more like a vampire than a baby, but anyway, after every picture you had to wind the film, which was exhausting. You had to wind it, and then you couldn't develop it until the whole roll was used. So you'd...by the end, you're just like...you're just taking pictures of anything, just, you know, like, shoes, click! Grass, click! My lunch, click!
And then at some point, you know, you get your pictures back, but you haven't seen them for a while. And it's like, "I went to the Grand Canyon? When did I do that? I have no idea!" Because you had to wait for it to come out, there was no screen for you to check or anything. And now everyone's got digital cameras everywhere. We take pictures of stuff all day long, and we never delete them, ever. So you wind up with, like, 10 million photos of your cat. You only need nine million, really.
Don't you miss having physical copies of your pictures? That's what made Polaroid camera so great. You would take a photo, and it would pop out instant...instantaneously. Instantly, and right away. Why do I try to use big words to impress you people?
Well, now Polaroid has a digital camera that prints instantly. Andy, where is it? I want to show you all what this is. Andy. Okay, so take a picture of me and my lovely audience right here. Okay, and then you just hit print, right? And then it's gonna come out. All right. Okay, so it's gonna come out in a minute, but while we wait for that to happen, let's dance.
註一：Ellen 曾在奧斯卡典禮上和眾多電影明星自拍，照片傳上網後引起一陣騷動，因此 Ellen 在此特地強調這次並不是她的自拍。
- 「豎起或擺放某物」- Set Up
He had to set his camera up, and then he had to hold position for, like, 15 minutes while it took the photo.
- 「以...作結束」- Wind Up With
So you wind up with, like, 10 million photos of your cat.
- 「立刻、一會兒」- In A Minute
Okay, so it's gonna come out in a minute, but while we wait for that to happen, let's dance.