Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
Since I have hissed at you the customary 437 times, it is now my duty as the head of the household to, begrudgingly, welcome you. Perhaps you are here to replace me, but I must do my duty and educate you on your new surroundings, as Maximilian once did for me. Rest in peace.
因為我已經對你嘶嘶叫了習俗上的第 437 次，現在是我身為一家之主的責任來勉強地歡迎你了。或許你是來竄位的，但我必須盡好義務教你有關新環境的一切，就像老麥斯曾為我做的一樣。願他安息。
Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
This room here is basically a crapshoot, either you get the petting of your life—and I mean two hands, like, you don't even know what's going on—or they just lie there and don't do anything for hours. It's weird.
這邊這間房間基本上就是來碰運氣的，你要不就得到人生中最棒的摸摸－－我說的是兩隻手那種，就像，你根本就不知道那是怎回事－－不然人類就只是躺在那然後什麼都不做好幾個小時。很奇怪。
Oh, and I should also point out on special occasions, they will leave the underwear drawer open to signal their appreciation...of me. Just to be clear, it's my spot. It's perfect in there. It's like sleeping surrounded by underwear. Well, I mean, that's exactly what it is.
喔，還有我應該要跟你說，在特殊的情況下，他們會打開內衣抽屜來表示他們的感謝...對我的感謝。先說清楚，那是我的地盤。那裡面超棒。就像被內衣褲包圍著睡覺一樣。嗯，我是說，事實上就是那樣。
Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
I remember when I could fit in a shoe. There's nothing like it, being engulfed in 360 degrees of foot smell... Enjoy it while you can.
我記得我還塞得進鞋子的時候。那是無可比擬的經驗，沉浸在無死角的臭腳丫味裡... 趁你還可以的時候好好享受吧。
Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
Because you are so small, you cannot jump, which is sad, sad for you, but eventually you will, and you will find the places that I refer to as "up." This will come in handy, especially around the human larva, which I know smells like milk but can be a bit grabby.
因為你那麼小，你不能跳，那很遺憾，對你來說，不過最後你就會了，而且你會發現我稱之為「上面」的地方。這會很有用，特別是在人類幼蟲附近的時候，我知道那種幼蟲聞起來像牛奶，但可能會有點愛亂抓。
Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
You should be aware that there are two kinds of food. The first is sort of a dehydrated brown niblet. I think they give us these because they're training us to be astronauts—just a guess. The second kind is wet food. It is so special they keep it in little armored metal casings that no claw can penetrate. With no claws to speak of, the humans can somehow open them. It's like some dark magic.
你應該注意到食物有兩種。第一種有點像脫水的棕色小顆粒。我想人類給我們吃這些是因為他們在訓練我們成為太空貓－－只是一個猜測。第二種是濕的食物。這種食物特別到人類把它儲存在沒有爪子穿得過的裝甲小金屬盒裡。明明就沒有爪子，人類卻不知道為什麼可以打開那些盒子。這就像什麼黑魔法一樣。
Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
I should warn you of the monster known as "vacuum." It can eat and yell at the same time. And I've seen it eat everything, seriously, like a paper clip and two cat toys—didn't even flinch. To hide from vacuum, you may use the curtains of invisibility. Oh yeah, you're good. Good hiding. Oh, boy.
我應該要警告你那隻叫作「吸塵妻」的怪物。它可以同時大吃和大吼。我就看過它吃掉每樣東西，沒在開玩笑，像是迴紋針和兩個貓玩具－－連抖都沒抖一下。要躲過吸塵妻，你可以使用隱形窗簾。好耶，你不賴嘛。躲得好。噢，小子。
Dear Kitten,
親愛的小貓：
One final note, once in a while you might see a little red dot. I'm going to tell you this right now: It is real, and it can be caught. I did it once. I held it for a full minute, but when I lifted my paws, it was gone.
最後一件事，偶爾你可能會看到一個小紅點。我現在要告訴你：小紅點是真的，而且可以被抓到。我有一次就抓到了。我整整抓住它一分鐘，不過當我抬起我的爪子時，它就不見了。
So Kitten, welcome to the household. You'll do just fine.
那麼小貓，歡迎來到這個家。你會沒事的。
- 「稱為」- Refer To As
...and you will find the places that I refer to as "up."
...而且你會發現我稱之為「上面」的地方。 - 「有用、派上用場」- Come In Handy
This will come in handy...
這會很有用... - 「同時」- At The Same Time
It can eat and yell at the same time.
它可以同時大吃和大吼。 - 「偶爾、有時」- Once In A While
One final note, once in a while you might see a little red dot.
最後一件事，偶爾你可能會看到一個小紅點。
