Judging People by How They Open Bags of Snacks
從開零食包裝的方式判斷人的個性
The Generous
慷慨型
This method allows the bag to be open to its full radius and optimizes the sharing capacity of friends or nearby freeloading acquaintances who wish to nourish themselves with the aforementioned snack.
這種開法讓袋子可以被打開到最大,而且能分給最多朋友或附近來白吃白喝的人,他們希望用剛剛提到的零食來滋養他們自己。
Thank you.
謝謝妳。
I don't even know you.
我根本不認識你欸。
The Conservative
保守型
This method allows for minimal sharing capacity because the snack either drops one or two pieces at a time or you can't fit your freaking hand in the tiny hole.
這個方法帶來最小的分享量,因為零食要不就一次只掉出一兩片,要不就是你沒辦法將該死的手伸進小小的開口。
You know, you can just open it a little more.
你知道,你可以把它再打開一點。
Why don't you just go to Cindy and ask her for some?
妳怎麼不乾脆去找 Cindy,跟她要來吃呢?
The Clumsy and Impatient
笨拙且沒耐心型
Ask to share at your own risk. Reaching in for a treat or pouring some out could result in the bag ripping more, causing everything to fall out if they haven't already upon opening.
自己承擔主動要分享的風險。伸進去拿零食或是把一些倒出來可能會導致袋子裂得更嚴重,使得所有東西都掉出來,如果零食在打開時沒已經掉出來的話。
It says tear here, Kevin. Tear here!
它說從這裡撕開,Kevin。從這裡撕開!
The Neat Freak
平整魔人型
They refuse to open the bag without proper cutting tools. Sure, it looks clean, but the process is just time-consuming.
沒有合適的切割工具的話,他們就拒絕打開零食。當然,那會看起來很乾淨,但整個過程就是很耗時。
I found the scissors! Guys?
我找到剪刀了!大夥們?
The Disoriented
搞不清楚上下方向的
Everything seems fine until you realize they opened the bag upside down. However, this doesn't really affect your ability to eat, so you end up not caring.
直到你發現他們將袋子上下開反之前,一切看起來都沒事。然而,這並不真的影響到你吃零食,所以你最終並不會在意。
Where does it say to tear? Where?!
它說要從哪裡開?哪裡?!
I'm sorry. My glasses were upside down.
抱歉。我的眼鏡戴反了。
And then, there's me.
然後,還有我這型的。
Can I have some?
我可以吃一點嗎?
No.
不可以。