Fixed Fairy Tales
童話故事這樣才對嘛
Little Red Riding Hood
小紅帽
Oh, hello! Everyone has heard the tale of Little Red Riding Hood. We know how she met the big bad wolf in the woods on her way to Grandma's house. We know how the wolf got to Grandma's house first and disguised himself as Grandma. "What big eyes you have!" and "What big teeth you have!" And blah, blah, blah, and rescued by the woodcutter at the last minute...etc., etc. We've all heard that story. But here's how Little Red Riding Hood should have ended.
喔，哈囉!每個人都聽過小紅帽的故事。我們知道她在去奶奶家路上的森林裡遇到壞蛋大野狼的故事經過。我們也知道大野狼先跑到奶奶家，假扮成奶奶的情節。「你的眼睛怎麼這麼大!」還有「你的牙齒怎麼這麼尖!」然後這樣那樣點點點，然後在最後一刻被樵夫救了...等等等。我們都聽過那個故事。但是小紅帽的結局應該是這樣。
Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go...
穿過森林，越過小溪，我們要去奶奶家...
What's that? Smells like a little girl. A little girl wearing a hooded cape. Hmm, yes. Red dye number 40, but...there's something else. A rosewood basket filled with...muffins!
那是啥咪？聞起來像是個小美眉。穿著帽帽披肩的小美眉。嗯，灰常好。紅色四十號，但...還有別的。花梨木籃子裝滿了...瑪芬蛋糕!
Pardon me, unaccompanied little girl. I couldn't help but notice you, by yourself traveling alone through this dark and scary forest, alone.
不好意思，沒人陪的阿妹仔。我實在沒辦法不注意到妳，妳自己一個人穿過這個又黑又可怕的森林，孤孤單單的一個而已人。
Yeah?
怎樣？
Where are you headed with that delicious-smelling basket of goodies?
妳帶著這籃香噴噴的食物要去哪裡呀？
Little Red Riding Hood knew how crafty and dangerous wolves can be, so she came up with a very clever plan.
小紅帽知道大野狼會有多麼狡猾和危險，所以她想出一個非常聰明的計畫。
I'm headed to...my grandma's house. It's down the path in that direction. But I can't stay and chat. My poor, sick, feeble, vulnerable grandmother is waiting for me right down the end of that path. That way. Yup.
我要去...我奶奶家。在小路底端，在那個方向。但我不能停著跟你聊天。我可憐、生病、虛弱又脆弱的奶奶就在那條路的底端等我。那個方向。嘿對沒錯。
How delicious of you... I mean, how dedicated of you. But might I recommend taking time to gather some wonderfully beautiful flowers for your grandma as you go? There are many flowers just slightly off the path.
妳好可口啊...啊不是我是說，妳好乖呀。但我可以建議妳在路上花點時間去採一些超漂亮的花朵給妳的奶奶嗎？那條路稍微走一下就有很多花花。
Oh, so you think I should bear slightly off the path to gather flowers?
喔，所以你覺得我應該要稍微離開我原本要走的路去採花囉？
Yes. The delay will definitely be worth it.
對。雖然會拖到時間，但一定會很值得。
Well, thank you. I'll be sure to bear that in mind.
嗯哼，感謝你。我一定會牢牢記在心裡。
Please do. I'm sure your grandmother will be very surprised.
一定要這麼做。我保證妳奶奶一定會超級驚喜的。
Thank you so much for bearing with me as I bear this basket on to my grandmother's house and help her bear her sickness that she can barely bear!
還真是感謝你在我提著這籃子要去奶奶家的時候這麼有耐心跟我說話，我再來還要去幫她熬過這個她快受不了的病呢!
What's funny?
很好笑嗎？
Nothing! Off I go!
沒事!我要閃了!
Yes, now to cut through the woods and arrive at Grandmother's house first. Ha-ha...sucker!
灰常好，現在抄近路穿過森林先去奶奶家。哈哈哈，蠢蛋!
Sucker!
蠢蛋!
A little while later...
一段時間過後...
Bad directions! That's clever. But I wonder whatever became of that wolf?
給他指個錯誤方向!真聰明。但我真想知道那隻狼變得怎樣了？
Hello, Granny! Wait. You...you're not Grandma. Oh, goodness. What big teeth you have!
哈囉，阿嬤!等等。你...你不是阿嬤。喔，我的天哪。你的牙齒怎麼那麼大!
I don't think we'll need to worry about him anymore. More muffins?
我不覺得我們需要再擔心他了。還要吃瑪芬嗎？
Please.
好的。
And Little Red Riding Hood happily enjoyed muffins with her grandmother, who got well soon after, all because Red Riding Hood was a smart and practical girl who knew that wolves were dangerous and can't be trusted. The moral? Always give wolves bad directions. Always. The end.
然後小紅帽開心地和奶奶一起吃瑪芬，之後奶奶很快就好起來了，這全都是因為小紅帽是個聰明又實際的女孩，知道大野狼危險又不值得信任。寓意是什麼？記得跟大野狼講錯誤的方向。一定要。故事說完囉。
- 「想出」- Come Up With
Little Red Riding Hood knew how crafty and dangerous wolves can be, so she came up with a very clever plan.
小紅帽知道大野狼會有多麼狡猾和危險，所以她想出一個非常聰明的計畫。 - 「值得」- Worth It
Yes. The delay will definitely be worth it.
對。雖然會拖到時間，但一定會很值得。 - 「把某事記在心裡」- Bear Something In Mind
I'll be sure to bear that in mind.
我一定會牢牢記在心裡。 - 「對...有耐心」- Bear With
Thank you so much for bearing with me as I bear this basket on to my grandmother's house and help her bear her sickness that she can barely bear!
還真是感謝你在我提著這籃子要去奶奶家的時候這麼有耐心跟我說話，我再來還要去幫她熬過這個她快受不了的病呢！ - 「抄近路」- Cut Through
Yes, now to cut through the woods and arrive at Grandmother's house first.
灰常好，現在抄近路穿過森林先去奶奶家。
