Now, I know what you really came for: taking Halloween candy away from children. Well, this is our sixth year of doing this. And for the first time in those six years, I have a trick-or-treater living in my house. My daughter turned two in July. We dressed her as a monkey last night, and we went around the block. She was very excited about the candy, even though she doesn't know the difference between lollipops and popsicles—we had to explain that. But she was—Jane was very happy last night. She woke up this morning in a snippy mood, and she also is at the age where she says no to everything. So I decided this was the perfect time to tell her I ate all her Halloween candy. Wait a minute. Your reaction confuses me, but here's how that went.
現在，我知道你們真正為了什麼而來：把孩子們的萬聖節糖果拿走。嗯，這是我們第六年這樣做了。在那六年裡第一次，我在家中有一個要糖果的小鬼頭。我的女兒今年七月的時候滿兩歲了。我們昨天晚上把她打扮成一隻猴子，然後我們到街上去。她很興奮拿到糖果，雖然她不知道棒棒糖跟冰棒的差別－－我們還得解釋一下。但她－－Jane 昨天晚上非常開心。她今天早上有起床氣，而且她現在也正值對任何事都說「不」的年紀。因此我決定這是絕佳時機來告訴她我吃了她全部的萬聖節糖果。等一下。你們的反應讓我感到很困惑，不過事情是這樣展開的。
Hey, Jane. You're already in a bad mood?
嘿，Jane。妳心情不好嗎？
Umm...no.
嗯...沒有。
It's about to get worse.
那即將變得更糟糕囉。
It's not.
不會的。
Hey, Jane.
嘿，Jane。
No.
不要。
Do you remember when we went trick-or-treating last night?
妳記得昨天晚上我們去要糖果嗎？
Yeah.
對啊。
That was fun, right?
很好玩，對吧？
Yeah.
對。
Do you remember all the candy we got?
妳記得我們拿到的所有糖果嗎？
Yeah.
記得。
Well, Daddy ate all of it.
嗯，把拔全部吃掉了。
No.
沒有。
Yeah, look.
是的，妳看。
He didn't.
他沒有。
Yeah, he did.
有，他有。
Nah.
沒。
I ate all your Halloween candy.
我吃掉妳全部的萬聖節糖果了。
No.
沒有。
Yeah.
有。
It has dirt in that.
那裡有灰塵。
It has dirt in that?
那裡有灰塵嗎？
Yeah.
對啊。
Yeah, there's a little bit of dirt in there. But Jane, you're missing the point.
對啊，裡面有一些灰塵。但 Jane，妳搞錯重點了。
No.
沒有。
It's not about the dirt.
重點不在灰塵。
There is.
那裡有。
Jane.
Jane。
There is.
那裡有。
Your father ate all your Halloween candy.
妳爸爸吃掉妳全部的萬聖節糖果了。
No.
沒有。
Yeah.
有。
No.
不。
And it was delicious.
而且那很好吃。
No, it's not.
不，才不好吃。
Were you dressed as a monkey last night?
妳昨天晚上有打扮成一隻猴子嗎？
No.
沒有。
You weren't?
妳沒有？
I'm not.
我沒有。
You were. Yeah.
妳有，沒錯。
Are you gonna contradict everything I say?
妳要跟我說的任何事情唱反調嗎？
No.
不要。
You're not?
妳不要？
I wanna...I want go get pancakes.
我想要...我想要吃鬆餅。
All right, pancakes, those I can get you.
好吧，鬆餅，我可以給妳。
You want pancakes. All right. I'll try again later.
妳想要鬆餅。好吧。下次我會再試試看的。
Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel. If you like that, click the subscribe button below, and good things will happen forever.
嗨，我是 Jimmy Kimmel。如果你喜歡那影片的話，按下下方的訂閱鍵，好事永遠都會發生。
