This is crazy. A White House spokesperson has confirmed that President Barack Obama and Mr. Trump have been talking regularly. That's big news story, yeah. And they didn't give any more details than that.
這真的太狂了。白宮發言人已經證實歐巴馬總統和川普先生最近經常連絡。那可是大新聞，對吧。但他們並未透露更多消息。
Ladies and gentlemen, this is incredible. We actually got ahold of the audio from several phone calls. Don't giggle! This is real...phone calls between President Obama and President-elect Trump. And I think it's my duty to share these with you.
女士們先生們，這很不得了。我們其實取得了幾通電話的錄音檔。不要笑!這可是貨真價實的...歐巴馬總統和總統當選人川普間的通話記錄。我覺得我有義務和你們大家分享。
Hello?
喂？
Barack? It's Trump. You know those gold metals you give out?
老巴啊？我川普啦。你知道你發出去的那些金牌嗎？
Presidential medals of honor?
你是說總統榮譽勳章？
Yeah, can I give them to anyone I want?
對啦，我可以想給誰就給誰嗎？
Uh...well, there's a process.
呃...這個嘛，有一定的流程。
I wanna give one to Guy Fieri and all the girls from the GoDaddy.com commercials—maybe Chewbacca too.
我想頒一個給美國阿雞師還有 GoDaddy 廣告上那些正妹－－或許也要頒給星際大戰那隻楚巴卡。
Hello?
喂？
Quick question: Kazakhstan.
一個小問題：哈薩克。
What's your question?
你的問題是什麼？
What is it, some kind of a meat dish?
那是啥，一種肉類料理嗎？
Kazakhstan is a country in Central Asia. It's bordered by China and Russia.
哈薩克是一個中東國家。它位在中國和俄羅斯旁邊。
Gotcha.
懂了。
Follow-up question: Do we need it?
下一個問題：我們需要它嗎？
Hello?
喂？
So, what do you have in the White House for toilet paper? Cottonelle, Charmin, Angel Soft?
你在白宮用哪牌衛生紙啊？得意、柔情、五月花？
I don't know.
我不知道。
I have to tell you—that Quilted Northern is terrific.
我一定要跟你說－－舒潔超棒的。
That's not really something I know much about.
那方面我真的不太懂。
Ah, it doesn't...it doesn't matter. I'm gonna fly back to New York for all of my number twos.
啊，沒...沒差。我要拉屎就飛回紐約就好了。
Hello?
喂？
Now, how do I make a bill into a law?
我要怎麼讓法案變法律？
Well, first Congress has to pass the bill.
嗯，首先國會得先通過法案。
Who's Congress? Am I Congress?
誰是國會？我是國會嗎？
No.
不是。
Is Ivanka Congress?
伊凡卡是國會嗎？
No, she's your daughter.
不是，她是你女兒。
She's hot, right?
她超辣，對吧？
She's a very attractive young lady.
她是位十分迷人的年輕女士。
You dog, you. I'm telling Michelle! Put her on the phone.
你啊，你這老不修。我要跟蜜雪兒說!叫她聽電話。
You know who I think you should call is German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
你知道我覺得你應該打電話問候的人是德國總理梅克爾。
Angela Merkel? Are you kidding me? I'll call her if I have a boner that needs to go away.
梅克爾？你在裝肖維嗎？如果我要澆熄慾火的話再打給她。
Hello?
喂？
Barack? It's Trump. Another question: The guys in the black robes—
老巴？我川普。再一個問題：穿黑袍那些傢伙－－
The Supreme Court?
最高法院？
Yeah. Are they like my Severus Snapes? Can they cast spells for me?
對。他們是我的石內卜嗎？他們可不可以替我下咒？
Knock, knock.
敲敲門。
Who's there?
誰啊？
Who.
誰。
Who who?
誰誰？
Obama, I think there's an owl eavesdropping on our call.
巴馬兄，我覺得有隻貓頭鷹在偷聽我們說話。
Ha, very good.
哈，很好笑。
Shh! I'm not kidding. I think a spy owl is listening to us.
噓!我是說真的。我認為有隻間諜貓頭鷹在聽我們說話。
Donald, you're the one who was telling the joke.
唐納，是你自己在那說笑話的耶。
Be quiet, Obama! I'm calling you back on a secure line. I'm onto you, spy owl.
巴馬兄，安靜!我再用保密電話打給你。老川盯上你了，間諜貓頭鷹。
